Obituary

James Lynwood Wilder, Jr

October 7, 1934 – February 10, 2018

James Lynwood (“Lyn”) Wilder, Jr, the down-to-earth charismatic man whose honest, reliable and considerate service to others made him beloved by many, died on February 10, 2018 in Laguna Hills. 

Lyn was 83 years old. He is survived by his wife Daneen, his children Gayle, Allison and James III, his stepsons Brandon and Aron Rainone, his grandchildren Jefferson, Keaton, James IV and Constance, and his step-grandchildren Sophia, Hendrix and Zoey. 

In addition to his family, Lyn leaves behind an abundantly grateful community, who will forever be touched by his frank, honest and passionate support of their lives. He was tall, handsome and charming, always impeccably dressed and always there with love and wisdom when needed. His playfulness and humor would never fail to ease a troubled soul. His demeanor and presentation, both sophisticated and colorful, will continue to provide us with smiles and memories for years to come.

A recovering alcoholic himself, Lyn had a depth of understanding and empathy that translated seamlessly to those in need of help. His recovery became his greatest gift. For nearly 53 years, Lyn was a pillar of the Southern California recovery community. He shared his hope and strength locally, across the country and around the world. Lyn lived his life’s motto of “love and service” as he selflessly gave of his time. His family is grateful for all the memories and stories shared about the innumerable ways in which Lyn taught, challenged, and encouraged people, and the profound impact he had on their lives. 

Lyn was born on October 7, 1934 in Lexington, Kentucky. The friendships Lyn developed in Kentucky remained throughout his lifetime and returned him to his roots for many cherished visits.  A true Kentuckian, Lyn loved thoroughbred horses and the Kentucky Wildcats basketball team.

Lyn made his way to California in 1964. He met his wife Pam in sobriety and moved to Orange County, where they had their children, Allison and Jim. He participated whole-heartedly in the women’s recovery home of New Directions for Women, which was co-founded by Pam, who passed away in 1985.

Lyn’s career was diversified. He was independent and excelled at networking, which brought him business opportunities in real estate development, oil and gas production, restaurant ownership, the insurance industry, and telecommunications. He retired at the age of 80.

While working in the telecommunications industry in 1997, Lyn met the love of his life, his wife Daneen. They were married in 2001 and have enjoyed many years of family, love, laughter, friendship, travel, and fellowship, both in Orange County and in their second home in the California desert, where they have many dear friends. Lyn’s love, patience, and persistence with those he loved and cared for will be missed. We are forever blessed to have been part of Lyn’s extraordinary life and to have shared in part of his journey. We will carry his memory in our hearts.

There will be a Celebration of Life for Lyn on March 4 at 2 p.m. at Laguna Presbyterian Church, 415 Forest Ave.  

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made in his name to an organization important to Lyn and his family, New Directions for Women, Inc, 2607 Willow Lane, Costa Mesa, CA 92627.